Thursday, April 15, 2010

The Pink Dress

Welcome my friends to my first post in a while. My friends in blogland have been so incredible and full of love for me these past weeks.  I have had this post in my heart for several weeks and made certain before Doug left I had the picture to share with you.  Well my computer crashed and died so I don't have the photo to share.  I know your imaginations will take you along this journey with me.

It was the fall of 1974.  I was walking in a shopping center (our little town still doesn't have a mall).  I spotted it immediately.  In today's world it would be called a 'pagent' dress size 2T.  I had just come from the doctor and he told me I was pregnant.  I already knew.  Back then the way you knew ahead of time if it was a boy or girl was tying a string around your wedding ring and let it swing over your belly.  I didn't need anything that scientific, I already knew I was having a girl and I already knew her name.  Jenee', I had known for years. 

I saw the dress and it was $99.00.  That was a million dollars in 1974 for a dress.  I put it on lay away that day, they took it right out of the store window.  I paid it off in March, 1975.

April 15th 1975 I was busy doing last minute tax returns.  My water broke, I kept saying please let me finish this return and she did.  She waited until the morning of the 16th to arrive. Perfect little body, 10 fingers and 10 little toes.  A head full of hair and a big little baby at 8 pounds and 12 ounces.  I knew nothing about taking care of a baby.  I was so scared, afraid to hold her.....I thought she might break.  It was a difficult delivery and I was in the hospital almost a month after she was born.  They let her stay with me that whole month.  No HMO's back then.  She never broke, even with all my mistakes.  She put up with all my whims, dreams, husbands, name it.

The afternoon of November 29, 1995.  I  opened the door and my sister was about to ring the bell.  She doubled over in my arms.  She was crying , I could barely understand her words. ' Jenee' was shot'.  That is all I could understand.  I remember thinking, oh no my baby has been shot in the leg.  Where I got that, I have no idea.  All I could think of was getting to the hospital.  She kept saying no, no she is gone.  And she was gone.  I kept her cell phone on for years so I could hear her voice on her voicemail.  But she was gone, but never forgotten.  Her pink dress remains a constant reminder of her love, joy, passion, laughter. 

Happy Birthday my darling daughter.  Your momma loves and misses you more each day.  Thank you my friends for sharing my baby girl's birthday.


  1. Jeanette,
    I am so sorry and crying like a baby! I know your pain and you have been an inspiration to me. I know I can survive the lonely days without my Amber because you have survived something a mother never wants to hear ... the passing of a child. I know our hearts are changed forever.
    I know they are in Heaven together and can you imagine what a birthday celebration they are having for Jenee'.
    You are in my thoughts and prayers!
    God Bless and Big HUGS!

  2. Oh my gosh Jeannette, I can hardly see to type. The anguish you must have felt, the heartbreak. My heart goes out to you and all that you have survived.

    Gentle hugs and wonderful memories my sweet friend!


  3. ((((((Jeanette))))))

    What precious memories of your precious girl.

  4. What a beautiful way to share your story and celebrate your sweet daughter's birthday! Hugs to you friend!

  5. Jeanette,

    Thank you for your friendship and always a kind word. My friend, I feel it is such a privilege to know you, one of God's angels. This post is the most beautiful dedication to your sweet and beautiful daughter.

    Sending love and prayers your way.


  6. Jeanette,

    You are so sweet and brave. You have been through so much but you still have faith, love and laughter. Your daughter brought you much joy during her way to short life and continues too with her memories. I am so sorry for your loss and pain but thankful you had her to love for as long as you did.


  7. Jeanette...I too am sitting here crying. I can't imagine the pain & heartache you have had. I can't imagine. Everytime I visit you I look at her picture & smile at what a beautiful girl she was & imagine her FULL of life. Thank you so much for sharing this memory with me. I am very touched & I have much love for you.

    I can imagine the little dress & I am so glad you still have it. In my is the most beautiful dress in the world.

  8. MOM,

    I LOVE YOU!!!

    Wishing I was there to hold you today. I feel so helpless over here with everything that has happened since I've been gone..I cried from 10,000 miles away....


  9. Jeanette,
    What a beautiful tribute to Jenee'.
    My thoughts and prayers are with you even more so today. Sending you big hugs...
    Dee Dee

  10. I will remember Jeanee' from now on. What a lovely tribute to her on her birthday. Bless you dear one...I type with wet eyes.

  11. Jeanette my friend I am praying for peace, peace and more peace for you today and always.

  12. Sweetie,

    She knows and feels your love from where she is. The storyof her birth and that special pick dress is just beautiful. Such a special memory to have of her.

    I know we've talked a little about loss together but if you ever want to share the story of her life or death with me, I'm here to listen.

    I'm sorry for your loss and I send you a million hugs while you are missing her.

    Happy Birthday Jenee!

  13. It sounds like you have had a rough few weeks. Your precious new puppy will come took our Bentley a while, but I couldn't part with him now.
    I am so glad you had your 20 years with your precious daughter. And I am so sorry you have to live with the pain of her loss. The story of her little dress is precious. What a precious memory!

  14. My heart aches for you. But I know she is somewhere special, happy that you were her mom, and she's waiting patiently for you.