November 29, 1995
My sister knocked on my door, barely able to stand. Jenee' is dead she told me without breathing. No, it is not possible. She broke her leg, I said. That is it, she broke her leg. Let's go to the hospital because she broke her leg.
My precious angel did not have a broken leg. She was gone. My beautiful, darling daughter. Gone forever. Everyone said, things will get better with time. They lied. It has never gotten better. No one will ever call me Momma again. I will never have a grandchild to love and spoil. My baby is gone. There are so many things I will never experience.
I did have 20 years, 7 months and 13 days of being Momma to the greatest kid in the world. Captain of your soccer team, your passion for Wesleyan, STUNT, color wars you lived life hard. My precious, your momma misses you every day. I ache to hear your voice. I miss you so much. Thank you for bringing Doug and Mitzi, Joyce and Taylor into my life. They have been my strength the past 14 years.
Just like you brought the clouds into the balloon bouquets for Hayden, you brought them into my life to take care of me. You always take care of your Momma don't you baby?
To those who follow my blog, please don't be sad or let this post bring you down in this joyous season. Pick up your phone, call someone and tell them how much they mean to you. Go hug your husband or wife or child or niece. Look into the sky and see how beautifully my baby can turn those clouds into balloon bouquets! I am so happy and grateful for the 20 years, 7 months and 13 days I had with my baby.
If you know someone that has lost a child or anyone for that matter, give them a call. Let them talk about their loved one. Let the name of that loved one pass their lips. You will never know how much it means to them.
November 29, 2009
I miss you still.
Leave a comment if you wish. I read and cherish each and every one of them.
Dearest Jeanette,
ReplyDeletePlease know that I am thinking of you at this very sad time. I can't imagine how hard this time of year must be for you with Thanksgiving and all... I will give my kids an extra long cuddle tonight thanks to your beautiful words and I will say an extra prayer for you and your angel in heaven.
Blessings and best wishes always,
Natasha.
JEANETTE, I can't begin to understand the empty feelings you have, but I do have a daughter and I will call her today tell how much I love her.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this day and reminding us how short life really is.
Barbara
Unless there has been some mind-boggling coincidence I believe we have already "met" by e-mail. We both lost a daughter. My thoughts are with you at this time. Stay strong.
ReplyDeleteLionel.
Dear Jeanette, You are in my prayers today. I have not lost a child but I have a close friend who has and it is unbearable. Your daughter is surely that angel that makes the sky so beautiful. I treasure both of my daughters, but today I will send them extra love. My dear friend, I send you extra love also.
ReplyDeleteLinda
Jeanette:
ReplyDeleteMy son was born on November 29, 1987 and passed away December 28, 1987. Today is meaningfull to me also.
I know your pain, not a day goes by without thinking of my baby and like you said, the pain doesn't get better, it gets bearable.
I was blessed with a daughter after CJ passed and she is my blessing here on earth that I cherish every minute of every day.
Blessing to you friend, and I will be thinking of you today,
Sylvia
Jeanette, May God Bless you always.Im sure your daughter is in a much better place. She now shares her life with God.My prayers are with you and your family. Becky
ReplyDeletei am so sad to read of your loss... you are very kind to remind others to embrace what they have now. wishing you peace, i am sure it can never, ever be easy...
ReplyDeleteBless you dear friend. The anniversary of the loss of your daughter must bring back much pain of the past. Yet, it also brings with it memories of happy times shared. I have tears for you, Jeanette...keep safe. And thank you so much for sharing. I will call my daughter! Blessings and Hugs, Coralie
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your deep loss... I can offer prayers and cyber hugs... Thank you for reminding each one of us just how special others are to each one of us. You are a blessing... Dee dee
ReplyDeleteHi Jeanette. When I was 8 my aunt lost her only daughter, my most favorite, precious, loving cousin. She was only 15 years old. The pain I felt that day was the most horrid I've ever felt in my 53 years. It has never gone away, even though I can hardly remember her face. And she wasn't even my child. My poor aunt tried to fill her life as best she could with all her nieces and nephews, but I could always feel that pain she hid behind her smile. Maybe because I felt it, too. The poor dear passed away a few years ago. I was oh, so happy to let my aunt go so she could be with her daughter again. I've always believed that my precious cousin is my guardian angel. I know she wants the best for me in this life. And one day, when my time here is done, I, too will be reunited with her. I thank God for the 8 years I had with her.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry to go on and on. I gave my cousin's middle name to my daughter as a middle name, too. I will always and forever love her for loving me.
I am so very sorry for your loss, Jeannette. What a beautiful, beautiful girl. My heart aches for you. I never had children of my own, but I have many children whom I love dearly including three godchildren and nieces and nephews. Still, I cannot imagine the extent of your grief. My aunt lost one of her three boys (everyone's favorite person and the sweetest boy who ever lived) when he was 19. He lost a hard fought battle to cancer. They are finally all together again in Heaven, but we still miss him and them.
ReplyDeleteI do know what it is to miss the people you love and who loved you. I miss my own mother and father more than I can ever begin to say as well as other people who have gone on ahead, especially my Granny. My heart aches to see them, and when it does, I just focus on the fact that we will all be together in Heaven... that every new day that dawns is one step closer to that day when there will be no more tears, pain, death, or disease.
In the interim, I am sending you big, BIG hugs across the miles.
XO,
Sheila :-)
you don't know me, never met you but I just read your post and was so very touched at how much love you have for your daughter. you are the parent that people like me dream of. my parents are rotten to me, always have been. I've learned to move on, but they still try to get in my life to harass me, cause trouble, put me down (even though I'm an adult), I pay them no mind, but still it hurts. there will always be a yearning to have loving parents in my life. so when I see people like you I have to give kudos. be proud of yourself thru your sadness that you are one AWESOME parent! seriously!
ReplyDeleteHugs to you
ReplyDeleteI too have lost a child at almost 7 years old and another at 2 days old however, I do have his identical twin. I understand your feelings.....Julie
ReplyDeleteJeannette, I just read your post and my heart goes out to you. I will hug my kids a little tighter tonight. Take good care.
ReplyDeleteWell, I had to come and find this post after seeing your beautiful daughter on your sidebar. I'm very sorry she was taken all too soon from you. My, you do have lovely memories, though. God bless you and give you comfort!
ReplyDeleteJeanette,
ReplyDeleteFirst, thanks so much for visiting my blog. I have enjoyed taking a look at yours. I cannot imagine losing a child and I know the years have been painful for you. What a blessing though to see your daughter in the sky and all around you. A lovely girl...I know she must be dancing in heaven.
Blessings...
Your daughter was so beautiful-- I am so sorry this happened to you.
ReplyDeleteWhat I have learned from loss is that time is the only answer and prayer.
I'm sure your friends here are a great comfort to you.
I found your blog this evening while making visits to other's favorite places to visit.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss.
Hugs, Sharon